


The First Six Games

by HockeyShit



Series: The Captaincy [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Character Study, I just wanted to write about Auston, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyShit/pseuds/HockeyShit
Summary: “Auston, Morgan is expected to be out for up to eight games, that’s a hopeful estimate.” Auston nods, he knows this, they were just told this, as a team. “Because of the significance of the games left, and the way we anticipate those games going we want to make sure someone is wearing Morgan’s ‘A’ while he’s out. We want that someone to be you.”





	The First Six Games

       Auston watches Mo go down and he knows it’s bad. Mo won’t play the day after tomorrow, Auston can feel it. He hopes it’s not worse than that. But Auston is wrong. A couple weeks is what they are told, and Auston can’t help but peek over at the defensemen. He can see how the long season has seemed to grind Ron down. The look of disbelief on Jake’s face. Igor turning to Nikita, like his English had failed him as it had at the beginning of the season. Travis staring at a spot on the floor in front of his feet. Auston wants to look up, see how Justin is handling the news, it sounds like he’ll be putting together a couple games in a row. Auston is happy for him, but he can’t get Ron’s tired look out of his head. He doesn't have to think about it for too long, Babcock is calling him into an office. 

       Auston expects that he’ll see the rest of the leadership core there. But he’s the only player. Kyle is there. That throws Auston off even more. It’s not odd to see Kyle around after games. He seems to hang around a lot more than Lou ever did. But to see Kyle at what Auston had figured was a run of the mill leadership meeting after a key player was hurt, Auston can’t imagine what he did. He thought he had played one of his best games of the season. It’s not until Kyle clears his throat that Auston’s brain stops turning though possible reasons for this meeting.

       “Auston, Morgan is expected to be out for up to eight games, that’s a hopeful estimate.” Auston nods, he knows this, they were just told this, as a team. “Because of the significance of the games left, and the way we anticipate those games going we want to make sure someone is wearing Morgan’s ‘A’ while he’s out. We want that someone to be you.” 

       It's not that Auston wasn’t expecting it. He knew someday he’d wear a letter for the Leafs. But his first thought is Ron, tired and slouching in his stall. He wasn’t usually part of leadership meetings, but he was always there for the guys. He spoke up in the locker room, he was a vet. But Auston keeps his mouth shut about that and nods. 

       “It would be an honor.” 

       Auston isn’t sure how often he repeats that to the media. How many times he tells them that it is an honor to be wearing a letter for the Maple Leafs. He knew that part of wearing a letter was talking to the media, every day, or nearly, sometimes twice. He could just see across the room where Ron was leaning back in his stall, he still looked exhausted but he was smiling while he talked to Nikita and Igor. Maybe that was part of it, Auston couldn’t imagine Ron wanting to do this every day.

       “Wearing a letter doesn't change anything, not in the room. I’ve always tried to be a leader.”  He’s said it before when asked about being captain. It feels right to say it now as well. He doesn't plan on changing, besides, it’s only eight games. What could possibly change?

       They play the rangers that night. Auston doesn't even notice the A, he thought he might. He was a little worried he’d catch himself looking down at it while he was on the bench but he doesn't. Nothing changes, not until Willy scores but the official calls the goal back. It’s then that Auston finds himself talking to the ref. 

       “Are they challenging?”  

       “Goaltender interference,” Tim offers and Auston finds himself standing a bit straighter. 

       “What? They think Kappy interfered with Lundqvist? Kap was pushed by their guy. Lundqvist was halfway out of the blue paint anyways.” Auston can see the official looking at the A on his chest. There’s a small smile on his face. 

       “We have to send it to Toronto anyways. You can go tell Mike that, too.” Tim glances over at the bench were Auston figures Babs is yelling at anyone who gets close. Willy had scored the tying goal, Auston feels like yelling a bit too. Instead, he goes back to the bench. He doesn't have much to tell the team that they don’t already know but Babcock pats him on the shoulder anyways. 

       When they finally announce the call from Toronto, that the goal stands, Patty bumps their shoulders together. A smile on his face. Auston knows he didn’t have much to do with the call, but still, he feels proud to have done his job. 

       They play the next night, the Islanders. When Auston pulls the jersey over his head he can see Moore looking at him. Auston bites his lip at the thought of the rookie looking up to him. He thinks about the guys that wore As when he was a Rookie. They hadn’t all been the best players on the team. But they all worked hard. He tries to smile at Moore and hopes he’s being a good role model. He has to be. 

       The game doesn't go well, not for Auston. He feels like a million eyes are on him the whole game. He can feel the grip on his stick tightening, and it feels like more of his shots go wide than reach their target. He can feel his defensive game slipping. And the weight of the million eyes seems amplified as the game goes by. He’s glad when the game is over, his team managed a win around him, and he isn't sure what he’s going to say to the media. He’s glad when he doesn’t get tapped. He’s not sure what it means, he knows that Mo, Patty, and JT don’t talk to the media every day, though they do most. Auston wonders if he’ll get called into an office again, told he just wasn’t up to snuff. Maybe they’ll give the ‘A’ to Ron. 

       No one has said anything when Auston is getting on the bus. He doesn't sleep well that night but he knows he can fix it tomorrow, and the next few days. He’ll prove that this was just a one-night thing. That he’s worthy of wearing an ‘A’. 

       New Jersey wipes the ice with them. Auston wants to cry. He’d been on the ice for four goals against. The Power Play hadn’t managed a shot all game but allowed two shorthanded goals. The only bright spot of the game was Par’s two goals. He suddenly wishes he had spoken last game, but when Paul looks at him and nods Auston knows there’s no way to get out of this. Patty and JT will have to talk to the media as well, this was when wearing an ‘A’ really mattered. 

       “The power play wasn’t good enough. That starts with me, I wasn’t good enough tonight, most of us weren't.” Auston looks up to see Patty frowning. “We need to be better.” Auston is happy when they move on to Lindy’s goals, but still, he talks about how as a team they need to use goals to cause momentum swings. He’s glad to get away as soon as he can. He wants to sleep and put the game behind him. 

       In Carolina Auston puts the jersey on and the ‘A’ feels like a weight. The jersey feels heavier like it’s being pulled down by the ‘A’ on his chest. He tries to shake it off. He has to go play hockey. He isn’t quite able to. 

       They manage to keep Carolina at bay for two periods. Auston goes over the boards for the last shift of the second period, there are just thirty seconds left, he’ll probably play all of them but then he’ll have a long rest during intermission. He doesn't realize he’s gotten complacent until he’s chasing Aho up the ice, he sticks his stick out to push the puck away from Aho. Auston can see the penalty happening before it happens. He doesn't move his stick away in time, Aho’s skates catch on the blade of his skate and then he’s tumbling over Auston’s stick. It gets the puck away from him though and Auston can get the puck. He didn’t see an arm go up but the second he touches the puck he hears a whistle.

       Auston feels the ‘A’ on his chest get heavier than it had been all day as he skates to the penalty box. It was a stupid penalty, taken because he hadn’t been paying enough attention. There are just ten more seconds left in the period, just ten seconds before he has to face his team having made a stupid mistake as a leader on the team. As soon as he sits down in the penalty box he breaks his stick over his knee and watches as his teammates try to fix his mistake. When the period is over he can feel his teammates eyes as he skates over to the bench. He keeps his head down but still, his teammate's eyes feel like they are burning holes in his jersey. He wishes they would make the A on his chest feel lighter. 

       He’s embarrassed to stand in front of the media. JT is getting undressed next to him having already finished with his media duty. It feels like everytime JT glances over at him it’s with a pitying look. 

       “It’s an embarrassing show of emotion. I’ve always said we need to retaliate with our power play. That we answer in games like this with our offense. I need to put my actions where my words are.” He’s glad he’s out of his jersey he’s glad the weight is off his chest, but the looks the reporters are giving him it’s like they know what’s going on in his head. Like they know suddenly the A weighs a thousand pounds. 

       They are back home playing San Jose of all teams. Auston should have seen it coming. He takes another penalty, his line is on the ice for another goal. The ‘A’ seems to be heavier than ever before. They manage the win but Auston can’t stop thinking about the way the game went, all the mistakes he made. Before the media is let in before Auston even has a chance to get the jersey over his head Patty is standing right in front of him. 

       "You don't have to do everything," He says and Auston doesn't know what he's talking about, "You don't have to be perfect" Auston wants to shake his head but Patty pushes on, "you don't have to do it alone" 

       Auston frowns at that, he opens his mouth to tell Patty that he does have to, he has to be strong for the team, he has to be a pillar for them, a model and example, he has to be perfect. Patty shushes him before he can start 

       "Nothing changes because you're wearing an ‘A’ remember?" And Auston dose, he remembers saying that to the media, believing it. Suddenly he realizes how he's let it affect his game. How he's all but proven that he's not fit to wear a letter. He didn't think he had said this aloud until Patty is responding. 

       "You've done the opposite Aiston, you've shown how much it means to you. But you need to stop letting it affect you," He looks like he wants to say more but isn't sure if he should. Auston wants him to, he doesn't say this though, but he's glad when Patty pushes on, "We can all see you want to be captain, we all want you to be our captain to someday. But you have to learn to keep it from becoming a weight." 

       Patty taps the A on Auston's chest, "I bet that feels like it weighs a million pounds right now," Auston nods not sure how Patty knows, "if you let it stay like that, that's when they take it away. Even if it's a C." 

       Patty pauses and his face does something Auston doesn't understand 

       "Especially if it's a C," it takes a while before fore he realizes he realizes Patty is talking about his own C, back in San Jose. "I don't think that will happen to you. But you should learn now, how to keep this letter-" and he taps Auston's A again, "from changing you."

       Auston can only nod. He’s never talked about the captaincy with any of his teammates. He wasn’t sure if he should, or how to go about it. But here was Patty telling him they wanted him to be captain. That felt big. Auston wants to hug Patty or something. Suddenly the ‘A’ seems to feel lighter. But then Paul is pointing to guys, letting them know who has to talk to the media. Auston figured he was going to be one of the guys. He doesn't feel bad when he’s right. 

       “It was a bad penalty to take, but it’s a testament to our PK, I think we had three or four penalties and they killed all of them.” Auston feels lighter like things had settled. He didn’t feel like the media was out to get him, at least not like it had felt the last few games. He can feel himself smiling and laughing. It feels right.


End file.
